TRILLS AND TRILLIUMS

Saturday afternoon our cousins David and Cindy, came for a sleepover . It is so much fun to have company come from away. I get all kinds of cleaning chores done easily because I'm motivated by the coming of loved ones. I get cooking so to speak and yes…even cook up a storm like the one that came in on Friday evening dropping about 4 inches of rain overnight and swelling the brooks and rivers to nearly overflowing. I like to get the food made so I can sit around like a guest in my own house doing nothing but visiting with our company. I am much happier if I can indulge myself at the same time that I indulge our visitors. Once they arrived, we set off for a walk at Step Falls and to show them Screw Auger Falls as well. We hadn't seen them since the Sandwich Fair on October 12th weekend…my birthday. We had lots of catching up to do. It was David's brother Jim that we went to visit in Ft. Pierce Florida for the last 2 weeks of April. All three of them were very aware of how deeply we loved our little dog Sadie who was killed in a terrible accident in November. They all called us and cried with us upon hearing the news…and they checked up on our well being several times afterwards. There has always been a loving warmth about our time spent with all of them. We are grateful to have them in our lives.

So, anyway…we set off on our walk and were pleased to find trilliums blooming everywhere. The falls were ripping and I shared with Cindy that this spot was where the last photo of Sadie was taken. As the river beside us raged, I felt frightened by the thought of walking with a dog beside these powerful falls. Last November when Sadie and I walked there, the water was soft and delicate. The flow was more of a trickle and Sadie romped with her friend without leashes. As we walked, I wondered to myself…remembering Stephen carrying a baby Sam beside Jackson Falls the spring he was born. Just the thought of it made my knees weak. I wondered about fear…and about love. Somehow it seems that when one's heart opens to receive a focus or vessel to pour the love from the heart into…the door to fear opens as well. After all…loving makes a heart vulnerable to loss. Mulling this situation, I shared with Cindy a story from our vacation in Florida.

While visiting Jim, we spent some time at a dog friendly beach. While sitting in the sand, Jim lost his keys and a few days later, Stephen and I went back to the beach to see if we could find them. We spent quite a bit of time looking…heads looking down at the ground for about 20 minutes. When I looked up…I saw Sadie running toward us. I said..Stevo. Look. Here comes Sadie. Sure enough, a mini aussie tri -colored dog was running to us. We spent about 45 minutes playing with the dog named Forest…a 2 year old with her owner and his Mom. When they left, I broke down in tears. As we left the beach in the car, I said to Stephen…maybe she was trying to bring us a message. Maybe our puppy is getting ready to come to us. When we got back to Jim's we got on his computer and sent a message to Sadie's parent's owners and asked if the dogs might be pregnant. Sure enough they were and she said they were due in mid-May. It was uncanny. Call me crazy but I am just certain Sadie was visiting us for a moment.

Cindy and I said…wouldn't it be something if the puppies are born this weekend? Somehow the timing seemed so right. And joy that is shared can double in intensity. On sunday morning, I got up and went to the computer to find a note from Sandy saying 5 beautiful puppies had been born on Saturday morning. What a rush of joy…a trilling in my heart. Though I fear the repeat of a sudden and untimely death, it is not going to stop me from bringing this little dog home into my heart. It seems that everything I want for myself is just across the river of fear. That river has to be crossed to arrive at the river of love. So be it. On June 12th, I will pick up 6 baby chicks and 4 baby ducks. One month later, on July 12th…I'll go fetch my baby girl and bring her home. She will grow up with birds and I will grow old with her. Timid soul that I am…I will not NOT do this. From here on, I dedicate my life to the birds…and the dogs. And for this…a blossom of celebration!