Halloween morning finds me waking up with red welts on my face and hands. The morning air is cold and energizing. I am walking on a golden trail feeling the crunch of leaves beneath my feet. Something about the brittle crisp leaves beneath my moving feet and the smell of November works a spell on my heart. All week I've been building my energy with physical activity and fresh foods. Why…when I'm just reaching my stride, do I repeatedly encounter events that throw off that rhythm? As I wander…I wonder if this is the work of my shadow. I review the past few days in my mind. What could cause the allergic reaction I seem to be having? I see myself picking some odd clusters of berry on my walk with Sadie the other day.They could have been growing amidst poison ivy. Or perhaps Sadie got into something when she was visiting with her friend Satchel yesterday. I love to rub my face in her softness and perhaps she had something on her fur that transferred to me. I don't know. Something out of the blue has come to impact my days plans and my energy level. Is the proper approach to ignore these irritations and continue developing my routine…which would mean swimming in a pool where others swim…or taking in the change in my health status and staying out of the pool? It is a question that begs for an answer…but the answer has a changeable nature. Anyone who has a touch of anything has to ask the question of weather or not it is worth the risk of contagion to go about the daily routine regardless of waning energy or changes in health. Or has my shadow come up with some reason for resistance?

I've been planning a trip to Massachusetts to see my Mum and to enjoy my nephew playing a college football game. Now that the time has come to head down the highway, my face is deformed with itchy welts. My eye is half closed and my energy level is depleted. Paying attention, I see myself going down  to stay one night with one sister and one night with the other. Both have cats that I am allergic to. Walking the golden path is a concept strait out of Celtic fairyland and a mask of poison ivy welts for Halloween is a nasty trick for Samhain. I have been very aware of the thinning of the barrier between worlds. October brings my birthday along with my Dad's birthday and a deep missing of his worldly presence. Looking through old photos, I am moved by a portrait of my Dad in his military uniform and another of my parent's upon their engagement. I cook my Dad's favorite dishes…baked beans in his mother's bean pot…oysters on the half shell…crab cakes. I recall snippets of conversations as I walk in the woods. I remember the day he passed in all it's detail. He is near me. I can almost feel his breath. Others gather near. My beloved Uncle John…my sister Beth…my cousin Sharon, Gramma Sal and Grandma Clarke. All these dear shining ones hold pieces of my heart. I imagine my own shadow carries a part of my heart as well…perhaps even a part that I'm not too proud of. The air has changed bringing winter closer. There is a world beyond the world I see. I feel it. I sense it and I am not crazy. I just wish I could learn to dance with the unseen. Instead of being tripped up by my intouchness…or  calling myself on the carpet when I find my plans have been sabotaged…might I learn to envision reality as a kinder…more user friendly technology?

As I've tried to write this blog today, my computer keeps informing me of an error that has occurred. I get a button that gives me the option to dismiss it. My brain plays with the doorway between Earth and Spirit being open while a part of me wishes to slam the door shut. Halloween eve is here and I'm taking my red and blistered face to the Health Center for a real trick or treat. The treat will be assurance that things won't become so bad…i.e. dripping blisters very close to my eye, difficulty seeing…where as the trick could mean going retrograde on my plans for a trip down to Mass. to connect with family of origin. Can't say I know the answer with any certainty. Maybe I just won't know until I go through another 24 hours to see if more red angry welts arise to thwart my plans. I feel like an ugly witch.
But that could be just perfect. Gotta love the mystery that is me.